By Scott C. Mossman
Arsenal fans have been divided on a number of topics in recent years, some trivial and some impactful. Cesc Fabregas is that girl you’re over, but you’re not. Alex Song was shit and maybe he wasn’t. Finally, it’s just time for Arsene Wenger to step aside. Thanks for the memories! You changed the game! Now sod off because you’re inching us closer to fifth spot in the league and we couldn’t win a cup even if we were gifted Birmingham FC in the final. At various times, these sentiments have been difficult to dispute and maybe even difficult to agree with for some Gooners. Whether we have felt doubt or belief we have held our opinions as close to our hearts as the very club we support and love.
Aaron Ramsey was the next big thing along with Jack Wilshere before having his leg broken by that twat from that ultimate twat clan. Aaron Ramsey was then the next Eduardo story (without the cool song). Again, Gooners were divided, this time about the quality of Aaron’s game. Thus, the frustration of another players’ poor play compounded frustration towards a manager slowly becoming more popular for thrown water bottles and puffy coats than for lifting silverware. Arsenal was in agonizingly slow decline, but the ship felt as if it were sinking quickly. Only in football could that sentence feel so warranted.
Aston Villa came to the Emirates and beat us 1-3 and we were on our way to a mid-table finish. That is, before we weren’t. Did anyone not on drugs predict us top of the league after five more matches? I’m sure some of you have taken some good stuff, but maximum points since that result and signing Mesut Ozil would have sounded more like a wet dream than a good trip at that point. I hope you’ve all cleaned your sheets by now.
Yes, we have, in fact, taken max points since the Villa debacle and there are plenty of other talking points to keep us pissing excitedly. We’re top of the league, top of the Champions League group, we’ve beaten the #chickenwankers (it’s the latest hash tag trend), we’ve extended the club record of away wins to 12, and Aaron Ramsey is now the best Welsh footballer on the planet without even needing a monkey face by way of plastic surgery. In fact, some men may have blushed at the sight of his mug after that volley at Sunderland.
So, what then of our 17 year manager? I suppose time has yet to tell a true success story for this season, but he looks like a god damned genius, doesn’t he? Adding Flamini was a perfect signing, he brought along Serge Gnabry who may be the next, better/actually defending version of Theo Walcott, and he ignored the critics and corralled this team into a squad of chemistry, belief, and quality. Even Bendtner has a good attitude and is thanking the fans.
Despite this wank fest, we still have a long season to go and we hardly have the depth of a title winning team, but that isn’t to say we won’t have a title winning team. We haven't played the other title challengers either. It’s still early days, of course. Early days with the kind of promise recent seasons have not produced. No matter how you see the season shaping up I think we can finally agree on one thing. Wenger in!
The matter of Cesc is ongoing…sigh.
By Matt Giles
When I was a younger man back in my college days there was a lady on campus I met. She was the true definition of beauty and class. She walked gracefully across campus turning the heads of every man she passed. She had rich brown hair and wore those very attractive “school teacher” glasses. I don’t want to sound like a chauvinist pig, but this lady even had a tight physique to match the beauty of her face. Her smile and big green eyes were the most stunning of all. One grin from her would reverse any man’s terrible day to the point he would swear that that day was the best day of his life. Even her modesty had its own unique seductive power. This lady was like no other. Not only was her appearance mouth dropping, but the kindness and gentleness that flowed from her outshone her good looks. Most men admired her. Most women were jealous. But, regardless of people’s opinions, this lady out classed anyone around her. Needless to say, this lady was not easy and very much a heart breaker. Many men tried to win her over but most failed (except for me ‘cause I’m boss… BOOM!).
One night this lady was walking home and encountered a Neanderthal who thought that he could have this lady by forcing himself onto her. This pathetic excuse of a human tried prior, but with no avail to win her over with what he called charm. He finally, after many failed attempts to woo her, decided force was the only way to have her...
Arsenal versus Stoke is always a favorite fixture of mine. The last few years of being a Gooner I’ve noticed Stoke bring a certain brutality that other teams don’t. Does Stoke play beautiful football? Not so much. Do they get a nice looking goal from time to time? Sure, but mostly they just push and force their way into the box to slam in their goals like desperate idiots praying, to whomever, the ball bounces off someone and finds its way in the back of the net. I think I enjoy this fixture because it requires our boys to toughen up to another level. I find it very entertaining. I’m in no way able to analyze and break down game play like many others can, but watching this game brought back this story of the lady from college. Stoke knows in the back of their mind they can in no way match us when it comes to skill and class. No matter how others dislike Arsenal, no one can deny that we play a very special and beautiful form of football. Our class is second to none.
With the strength of our midfield this season, and the quality of our defense the only logical game plan for Stoke was to try, with brutality and strength, to force themselves upon us and cram in enough goals to have their way. Sure, our boys received several strong tackles. Sure, we conceded a goal and had to fight against their cheap attempt at manhandling. But much like the lady in college, Arsenal threw their rape whistle away a long time ago.
Despite the charm and attraction this classy lady in college possessed, she was also very proficient in martial arts. That idiot, who could not control the drive coming from his crotch, was very surprised when this brown-headed bombshell beat the shit out of him. With a swift kick to the nut sack and two strong strikes to the head this ass-clown was out for the count.
Much like the lady from college, Arsenal present a seductive and classy from of football. Sure we have several pretty boys with great hair on our team, but don’t underestimate us. The Arsenal are not ones to back down from a fight. Yes, there were some big hits we took but we weren’t going to bend over and take it. We fought back and fought harder. We weren’t going to allow those Neanderthals to force themselves on us. Three awesome Özil set piece deliveries found the back of the net by the works of Ramsey, Sagna, and the BFG to deliver a 3-1 victory for the Arsenal proving, once again, that skill and class will beat reckless force.
By Blake Pirtle
There are more than a fair few Gooners whose happiest times in recent years come before the start of the latest Premier League campaign when Arsenal stand proudly atop the table… for alphabetical reasons. Looking at the current campaign, one might think that this could be the year that all changes. Arsenal currently sit second in the standings, tied for the lead in goals scored as well as tied for fewest let in. I’m not one to completely get my hopes up this early into a campaign (who am I kidding? I’m giddy like Brian Perceful at a 90’s alt-rock concert), but I am certainly hopeful that with the quality players already in the squad (A charming Frenchman, anyone?) and the top class quality recently added (Öh man, am I excited) that we can finally take our rightful place atop the leader board at the conclusion of a season. Let’s take a look at some of the squad and talk about the high’s of this first month.
Olivier Giroud: He’s tall, he’s surprisingly agile, and he looks fantastic even when blowing snot rockets across the pitch. The second year Striker is off to a fantastic start. As of this writing he has scored in each Premier League match, and they haven’t even been all off his head (the majestic thing that it is). He seems to have accepted the pressure and responsibility of being the only real option we have at the striker position, and if he can stay healthy, I believe will have a truly outstanding year.
Aaron Ramsey: 6 goals in all competitions thus far, and the humility and class not to rub it in everyone who called for him to be thrown off the pitch and into an alley’s face. The Welshman has been fantastic for Arsenal and I see no reason for him to stop now. It’s a true testament to Arsene Wenger’s belief in what he sees as quality. He stuck with Ramsey, knowing what he could do when in full form. You know that Ramsey has to have seen this as well and carries that with him. I can’t help but to get warm fuzzy feelings just thinking about it all.
Mesut Özil: I will never forget his first match with Arsenal for as long as I live. Sitting at George’s Pub in Jenks, Oklahoma with 14 other die hard Gooners as Mesut delivered a textbook cross to Giroud, who soundly put it away, only 11 minutes into his new career with our great club. The Cheers were heard around the block and rightfully so. It signified something so much more than a new signing, or a great goal. Arsenal had finally taken the first step to asserting that they are in fact a “Big Club”, and hopefully turned a new, albeit umlaut filled page in the history books.
Bacary Sagna: Bac wins the team player of the month for me. He has shown that he can fill holes left by injuries, illness, and red-cards to play not only his desired right back position but also as one side of our outstanding centre halves. He has done surprisingly well in the middle with, both, the BFG and his countryman Laurent Koscielny. I believe with the kind of class and willingness to adapt that he has shown thus far, a new contract will be in the works to ensure he finishes his career with The Arsenal.
On the Champion’s League: I have just finished watching the first match of the group stage vs. Marseille and, while we started off sluggish and ended with a stupid penalty, overall we played well. Theo FINALLY got his first goal of the new-year, and again Aaron “The One True Welsh God” Ramsey was absolutely brilliant. I also have to give it up to Kieran Gibbs for his spectacular showing at left back. Arsenal showed tonight that they are not on a lucky streak in the BPL, but truly have quality. My hope is that they continue to show this as they move forward in the aptly named “Group Of Death”.
Am I optimistic? Yes, I am. Do I have a reason to be, other than my unbridled love for the club? Absolutely I do. We have shown to be a top quality club even with the un-godly amount of injuries sustained so quickly into a new year. That fact makes all the difference to me at this point and excites me for the days/weeks/months/years to come. For now you’ll find me cheering loud, Guinness in hand, most likely at George’s Pub.
The SG Blog
Gooners from Oklahoma share their views and insights about Arsenal Football Club!